TA INGEN SKIT

Last reflection on this "Hard-to-get"-strategy as to capture the heart of Mr Right. Isn't it so that we need to have a bit bigger integrity in everything we do? I mean, we are great friends, great employees, great daughters/sisters/sons/brothers etc etc, shouldn't we in all circumstances be a bit restricted as to who we let in and who we give ourselves to? Don't we become a bit more attractive in all aspects if we are a bit more.. proud of ourselves? We are always too darn polite and well-mannered to set our own agenda!

For instance, dearest Chablis is looking for a new job, and running around on interviews and we were discussing this the other night. We concluded that a bit of coolness, and a bit of integrity and distance only creates more.. respect! Same goes for my job, if I just accept to be bullied by my peers and bosses in Bruxelles they will NEVER respect me. So instead I bite back and think "what the hell, the worst thing that can happen is that the fire me!". But of course, the reaction is the reverse. Got this great quote from dearest Iceflower, friend in Stockholm. She has this rather awful but fun boss in her very high-fly law firm. You know, this kind of woman who has always walked over corpses to get what she wants, and been hard as a rock at work. Today she said to Iceflower "Yes, I admit -- I am a bitch, if you mean baby in total control of herself". Brilliant.

Or as Grynet so rightly puts it:





"TA INGEN SKIT"

Back-mirror driving?

Nope, I will refrain from bitter rethinking and other sad symphonies here now: “Upwards Onwards” as our dear Lill-babs seems to live. But I cannot help doing a little reflection.

Had I read these darn books on the theme “How to capture men and keep them” (see below) when I was still in my marriage, would life then looked a bit different? Would I maybe not have accepted being treated like a side-administrator being taken for granted, while my husband was pursuing his life-dreams and plans? Had I maybe demanded more and declared limits and not being so bloody accepting and understanding, then maybe he would have changed, loved and respected me and taken care of our love?

Maybe, but we don’t know this, and it’s difficult to drive a car while staring in the back-mirror. But some learning points from earlier bumps and corners are never in the way.

No, it's a womans world!

.. many thanks dear sweetest Countess (actually first wrote Comptesse, my God, I will start dreaming in French too soon!!) who just sent me a very interesting email on the below subject. The essence of her point is that these books actually help us to take care of our integrity and to not let our splendid selves go wasted to anyone not worthy. And I couldn't agree more. It's just that all these books irritate me somehow. Probably because I am such an impulsive and enthusiastic person and hence have a hard time staying cool. But I am really a lot better these days. When I came out from my 10-years marriage and had never been single more or less, I was completely green, but now after 4 hard years, I am enlightened!! Hahah. Well, a bit better anyhow.

And it's absolutely clear that it's a lot less time consuming to just let things happen instead of trying to control it. Very easy actually to just think, "Ok, Mr Superman France, you write all these beautiful emails and say all these nice things and say that you want to see me so badly. But honey bunny, action is action, words are just words. If this was so bloody interesting to you, why are you not on the darn Eurostar NOW!!??". But I don't say anything only answer him in my sweetest and sexiest and sensual way and just let him COME TO ME. You, dear reader, are now hereby invited to follow me to see if this works out.

Temping Flatty Chablis is calming me down though. She thinks I am SLIGHTLY bit impatient. Only less than 4 days (90 hours exactly) have flown under the bridges of la Seine since we kissed very intensely at Gare du Nord and he waited watching me go through the check-in. AND he is emailing a lot. So, I will be calm. PLUS, as also this very wise owl also points out: had he been even one little bit pushier, then the little Spinster would have been far gone on her black Spinster-bike with the wooden basked; bored, scared and completely dis-magnetized. Because also Spinsters want challenges and to hunt!

It's a man's world (?)

..indeed it is. I got this book from my dear friend Charlie "He's not that into you" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. It's terrible. A truly terrible book. And terribly true. As it reads on the back "men are not that complicated, even if they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages". So the whole book is about that all the excuses we make for men not calling, not asking us out, not anything really and just leave us feeling confused and needy, we just need to scrap them. I hated reading the book, but on the same time I must say I was happy I did. I should have read it so much earlier though, so I for instance wouldn't have spent time thinking that the guy I fell in love with three years ago, really was interested in me, but just...not coming out with it. Or some other similar excuse for him never being able to see me or taking any initiative. But on the same time giving me hints and keeping me warm. Why? Just to... keep me warm of course, and because he daredn't tell me the truth.

Bah, very big note to self: don't go into this trap again. Easier said than done since finding someone who is really interesting isn't that easy, and of course you get enthusiastic and optimistic. Bah again. So, no more of that. Ever.

But then, sometimes I feel it's all a man's world? That they set the rules and we are supposed to know them, and play accordingly?! I mistakenly signed up for these newsletter recently, and keep getting emails about "How to keep the man of your dreams" and "How to make him stay", and all this about men leading and we play along. Hey, if I am interested, I will not try and hide this and play games! I want it to be easy and simple and I don't have to think! And the sad thing is those times that I am not that interested (which honestly is 9 times out of 10), the guys go crazy. The moral of this song is: go for the less interesting, for the other ones you will scare away anyway. So, a compromise relationship is what I can anticipate. No thanks, then I 'd rather stay single for ever.

And a last note on this, if it isn't a man's world, why then isn't there a billion-market for similar books for men? Maybe because women are so bloody complex that it is not worth it!

Wise Words of Wisdom

The very famous Swedish singer Lill-Babs, sort of the equivalence to Cilla Black here in the UK, made a very good statement once. “Life never turns out the way you think, but it does turn out in some way” (free translation from “Livet blir aldrig som man tankt sig, men det blir alltid nat!”). I have this at home at a kitchen magnet, to never forget these heavy words of wisdom.


And she should know the little Babsan. She has had at least 10 husbands and twice as many serious boyfriends in her now 65 years of life. And she seems even happier than anyone else. Mathematically she can hardly have had four years of confusion and grief in between every relationship. Probably she is the kind of brave person who just “spits in her palms” and gets on with her life, UPWARDS ONWARDS!

So in the Babsan spirit young friends: Lean back and just go with the destiny. You may end up in the last place you would ever consider on earth, that you didn’t even consider.. like…like… GABON!

Find 5 Faults continuing

.. ok, so, I have now gotten some answers to the questions of Mr France. I certainly wasn't born yesterday, I challenged him on 10 Q and A's that he politely answered to! It turns out that he is actually BORN in Gabon (Central-West-Africa, relatively prosperous country with important ports) and partly grew up there. His mother lived there and met his father who came there to build a company. So they fell in love and got married and got the two little boys. Unclear what happened and why they moved to France, maybe divorce or something. Anyway, doesn't sound too confusing for me. His job seems to be rather good too, got a bit more of explanation on this, seems rather advanced.

So, all in all rather good answers. All others were perfectly normal and I rather liked his way of expressing the answers (such as favourite weekend activities and carachteristics of people...).

But of course one wonders what a man that grew up in AFRICA is like?? And another craziness is that he is now talking about moving to London. Ok, he thought about this before, he told me, but says he got a bit "extra insprired" when he met me. On verra, on verra.

I have suggested he'd come here and "get a feel for London", and the silly guy just answers that "I should definitely do that". Yes, that is all good, but haul your ass over NOW so we can clear this whole thing out. RAUS!
...

Today's book-tips/Boktips

Speaking of Find 5 Faults, there is a book I would like to recommend you. It was my great friend L.Jo's now husband Spike that told me about it. He's one of these great guys that always is interested in talking about deeper things and analyse situations. As a matter of fact, the moment I meet anyone that I really believe in (i.e after the 3-months test that all seem to go through with me), I would take him to Spike for blessing.

The book is called BLINK and "It's a book about rapid cognition, about the kind of thinking that happens in a blink of an eye. When you meet someone for the first time, or walk into a house you are thinking of buying, or read the first few sentences of a book, your mind takes about two seconds to jump to a series of conclusions."

I've read it, and learned a lot from it. Must admit though, that it's easier to apply the theories on new apartments, job deals or people to recruit rather than love-affaires. Or maybe it isn't? Maybe it's exacly the same thing?

http://www.gladwell.com/blink/

Ooops! I did it again. Or Find 5 Faults -- round 2.

OOOps! I did it again…

… met a guy when on vacation, from another town, another world. And frankly, my experiences from this are not the best in whole wide world. It’s extremely difficult to get to know someone when it’s not possible to meet up like on Tuesday nights or when you have the same sort of reference framework for things. What do I know about a guy from Paris? How can I understand the brain of someone who was brought up in France? Ok, I have spend pas mal of time in la douce France, and also a lot with French people, but still?

The only way to find out, is to try, right? Try and not have too high expectations. I have been through this “distance-start-ups” at least two times before: once with an Irish guy living in Sweden and another time with a Danish guy that I met skiing in der Alps.

The Dane was a disaster that I should have seen to start with. OK!! Easy to say in retrospect, but still. We met, under high levels of intoxication an evening at the After Ski. He was extremely “on” and we did some brief kissing. I went home already at around nine. Very tired. He was leaving the day after, so didn’t see him anymore. But then the texting and calling and emailing and MSN-ing began. Oh my god, I really should have seen it coming. He had fallen for me like a card house in the Alp winds. It was BIG love and I would be his “kaeresta” (girlfriend in Danish). I was of course very flattered and though, yeah, maybe I got at bit “taken with storm”. He sent these really cute pictures of him too. But I had a feeling that something wasn’t right. But the extreme optimist and opportunist that I am, I became very enthusiastic. Went to see him in Copenhagen and we had a really nice weekend, I must admit that. BUT, there were things that I felt a bit..apprehensive about. Small things, like the area where he lived, the kind of job and car he had. The Find Five Faults-game was rolling in my heads (see earlier post). But, I was telling myself that I was being too critic and I needed to be more open and not so typically “single and scared”. Second time we met was in Stockholm, where I still had my flat at that time. Again, we had a really nice weekend and he met a few friends who were … positive, but maybe not.. thrilled. I started to feel more and more doubtful. Something just wasn’t right. He felt insecure, not too smart, a bit of a “scratcher” (no ambition, slacker) plus our bed-activities weren’t super either. Third time we met (this is all happening within a month’s time, so it was anyway efficient), he came to London. And the minute I saw him at Heathrow, I felt a strong NO! So that was the end of it. But as least I gave it a try. But I wished I could have seen it earlier, so I wouldn’t have had to spend all this time on him.

The Irish guy was a different story. We met through work and this time it was my turn to fall like a card-house in Nordic ice-winds. The Find Five Faults game was also a bit inverted. I adored him even though he came from a very rough Irish background with a father that had beaten him and his 10 younger siblings, had alcohol problems, had 2 kids with 2 mothers in 2 different countries (not even Ireland and Sweden) and had escaped to Northern Sweden to get away from it all. In addition to this he looked like 45 at the age of 34, dressed like an old man and HATED London and was of the opinion that all Irish living in England were traitors. The alarm bells should have been deafening rather quickly for any sane person. But not for the Spinster. Carried away and blinded by this big, warm, musical, ambitious and sweet guy that was introducing me for all friends in his Irish home county Wicklow. I was hoping for a good couple of months that we would work out. WAKE UP! What’s even better with this story was that HE left ME in the end. This is really comedy. I found out that he cheated on me with a north Swedish singer-songwriter that he was playing guitar with. Well done Spinster. It’s your punishment for being too bloody blue-eyed.

But as I AM very optimistic, I see the bright side of this. I’ve learned a lot from it.

So, now that I’ve met this French guy when in Paris, that SEEMS to be a very nice fellow, I need to keep my head cool. We are in a lot of contact and so far, I have not found a lot of faults with him yet. I just hope that we will meet soon so we can clear out if this is something to build on or if we should just scrap it straight away. But just for the fun of it I can highlight some areas that I feel I need to dig a bit further, to find out more information..:

1. He has a bit of a messy background family wise… His father is German/French and mother French/Gabon. What does this say us? Well, he is not Muslim anyway, Gabons are Christian (yes, I now know ALL about Gabon if anyone needs any info...). I am NOT racist but I can see complications with muslims. The messy part of this is not the number of nationalities (which is rather common in “continental Europe,”), but that the contact with the parents seem low and he has not spoken at all about his mother. But, as someone said, this doesn’t mean that the guy himself is disturbed. But still.
2. His brother has mental problems. Ok, this means nothing either. But still.
3. When I met him at the club he kept disappearing all the time. Temporary Flatty Chablis made a quick analysis that he ran away to take coke. Which I cannot stand. But we don’t know this and Chablis wasn’t even there, so how would we know? But still.
4. His work. What on earth is it that he is doing? He is some sort of engineer (telecome-ish) and works in support for big switchboards etc. To be honest, doesn’t seem to be the most ambitious and exciting work on earth?! But what the hell do I know? But still.

Love Birds?

This morning when I rode my little Spinster-bike to work, I ran into these peculiar girls again. They are tiny and walk rather slowly and wear these coral-coloured suits with long skirts and oversized jackets. They look like a relic from 1992 and they wear ENORMOUS amounts of make-up, have very fixed hair with multi-coloured highlights. They always come in groups of two or threes. This morning I saw at least 20 of them. They feel a bit almost surrealistic in their bright coral-pink outfits among all gray people. A bit of David Lynch' Twin Peaks -feeling.

Anyway. They first appeard this summer when I had been spending a hot night with a cute italian boy and he was driving me to work, and we were cuddling and kissing and were in our little pink love-cloud. And these bizarr ladies just appeared, out of nowhere, like pink love dwarfs emerging from the underworld. And I came to think that they might be Love-fairies, and when they show up, it's a sign that love is around the corner!

Tomorrow I will take a picture of them to show you. But hey, what if they don't appear in the picture? Then it means that they ARE fairies! Spooky.

Find Five Faults

This is a very amusing game for a lot of people. Or? Obviously it is since for instance The Daily Telegraph insists in always having this picture of a celebrity in two versions and the reader is supposed to find the five differences, the five faults just above their crosswords (who on earth does these??). Anyway, this little game is also very much played when it comes to meeting men. As soon as any of my single friends have met someone, the game starts: “but he has terrible jeans”, “he is too dark”, “his voice is too pitched”, “he has bad music taste” etc etc. It never fails, I usually give it two dates before the game of "Find 5 Faults" starts

The reason for this fault-searching can according to me be divided into two categories: A) those that actually ARE faults, and serious things to think of (alchoholism, women beater, 2 kids with 2 mothers in 2 countries and not contact with any of them) and B) defence mechanisms to avoid getting involved. There is of course not a clear line between the causes, and it takes a bit of time before this line is cleared out.

My only wonder is though of this gaming is really a proof of lack of interest, or real worries? Somehow, the romantic part of me (the one that dreams of the fluffy pink love sky, where all is problem-free and ..pink, see earlier posts) wants it to be the former, because I believe that love indeed is blind. And if you see too many faults, the blindness is not there. But then again, defence mechanisms can always play their part, of course.

What do I want to say with this? Not much, just thoughts that come up. Do give comments on this!

In LOVE in Paris

Back again after a little break! A break in a bit of a different world. Spent the whole weekend in beautiful Paris. It's such a gorgeous town! I spend a lot of time there between 20 and 25, and actually met my ex-husband there too, but have hardly been back since 1997. I must say it's changed quite a lot, felt a lot more modern and international than what it was before. People were actually nice to us!!

We were 8 girls that went. We all know each other from uni, or the connection is from uni anyway. And only I and another girl are single and only one of the other girls doesn't have any kids. So, you get the picture: sinister spinster in a flock of married mothers could possibly have felt a bit... divorced, if you know what i mean? But not at all, this team of gorgeous girls are just the role models of the world of wives and mothers; energetic, vain, party loving, knows all about clothes and beauty, drools over beautiful men, drinks a hell of a lot of good wine and ... yes, generally, no big change from being a spinster! Even a commitment phobic like myself actually felt a bit of positivism about the thought of getting married again and being a mother. And that’s a very good advancement! Well done girls.

Needless to say, there are obviously SOME differences to my life as opposed to theirs. It would for instance not have been totally correct for any of them to dance all night with a stunning, TALL, dark and overly charming French man? Let alone joined him to the Fetish night at QUEEN, let alone2 made out with him in the lobby of the hotel, let alone3 having an even more advanced session of making out in the corridor outside the hotel room? No, wouldn't have been correct at all for them. But this is the beauty of being The Spinster.

Spinster Secretly Sold for Sloppy Soul

...as much as I try to be a cool rockn'roll girl and love screaming guitars and deep bas-riffs and intensive drums, I have to admit it....

I LOOOOOOOOOOVE James Morrison's "You give me something". It is just sooo lovely, incredibly good.

When I hear this I just imagine myself falling madly in love with someone and everything is just so RIGHT, no thoughts or problems or worries, but just EASY and lovely and filling and he smells lovely and has the most lovely softstrong body and warm eyes, and loves me for exactly who I am. And we are dancing with eachother and kissing to this song and then we just disappear into heaven on fluffy white clouds and love eachother forever and forever and the rest of our lives is just...pink.

http://www.myspace.com/jamesmorrisonmusic

Spinster's Frustrated Perversities?

..what is wrong with someone who thinks our new prime minister is good looking?

do I have a secret love for baldies?
am I drawn to celebrities,
or just a sucker for power?


... or do I plainly have secret fantasies about... Barbapapa?




("alike as berries")

"Two makes one"

This is what is says on my friends' wedding certificate that I have transported back to England from the wedding in Sweden. It's about that the human being wants to be in pairs and not by her- or himself. Of course I agree with this, and it would be lovely to have true love with a best friend. But it's not all that counts. Since my big love obviously very successfully hides in some bushes somewhere, key is to find a great life until he decides to make an appearance. And I must say I have found this. Wouldn't want to change much.

Btw, strange thing happened last night. I was out with a group of people, among other a guy that I dated a couple of years ago, the Squirrel. It ended a bit...unfinished, so to speak, for different reasons. Now he is happily living together with a new girl and all is good. She was home last night, and it was very apparent that we are very drawn to eachother. Actually a guy in the bar asked if he was my boyfriend... Felt a bit weird. And when he was leaving he came over where I was dancing and kissed me on the cheek. And then on the mouth. And then suddenly we were kissing, for real, with tongues and all. And then he left in the night, like Cinderella, leaving me with my eyes closed, still feeling him and wondering what the hell happened!?

So, now I don't know if I should feel like a snake maybe? Or a man-eating relationship-crasher, a rabbit-boiler! I wonder what he is thinking, if he at all remembers it? But it WAS a great kiss , and he is nice too. And kissing with a great guy is always...the best thing on earth.

Puss!

get shorty 2 ...

.. but this time in another way that cutting my blogging short. This time it's about eternal love where length has no meaning at all (how sloppy can we get?). Or as I say to tall Kitty when she wonders how ON EARTH I can be attracted to men shorter than me: "Well, since I am so tall, and he is so short, it evens itself out!". She doesn't buy that, but living in a country with average lenght probably an inch shorter than she and I are, we need to be flexible.

And look at this BEAUTIFUL picture of the supersupersuperSUUUUUUUUUUUUPER sexy Tompa and his supersupersuper TAAAAALLLL girlie?! Isn't it just so lovely, and their little Red Rose daughter, what a romance? It has now gone so far that I, as opposed to my tall friend(s), don't even look after tall men, since it's so darn sexy with shorties. Well. At least those that are somewhat similar to mr Scientologue. The important thing is that the man cannot have a problem with it, he must be strong and secure.

Alrajt, so what is now this defence speech about? The price-pony of course. Firstly, Paradise was just lovely yesterday. Super Temporary Flatty Chablis, her lovely ex-flatty the Countess, our half-Italian amore miss Singer and our Espanish TomBoy miss Duracell. First of all great to see them all and hear about the latest gossip. The Countess had the best statement as to why she and I always attract more or less Weirdos "who the hell wants to go out with a management consultant, like ourselves?? How boring!". Maybe we should take a course in the famous art of "loving ourselves...."!! Haha.

The price-pony came later with a friend. The friend was a bit... dull, but I must say that I like the pony. Don't really know in what way, but I would LOVE to find out. He is just ... good. Anyroads, it was a really nice evening and I just know that we will meet up soon again. I feel it sort of. Not that anything was said nor done, but it felt ... special. And he is short, but not 4 inches but probably one. So very sexy too. My perverted mind of course drifted off quickly (feels that the "draught" has been a bit long this time around.. hehe), and I feel that I would like to... get closer. Good sign. Anyway the weekend is here and time to roll!

Puss!

Animal Farm?

... so, off now to this very spontanious happening in paradise. Heaven only knows what will happen, and if there will be a snake, a woman, a man and an apple there. Not to mention the tree that the snake rolls around in?

Only time will tell what will happen. What we know is that the cute guy will be a cock in a henfarm as we say in svenski. But that sounded a bit promiscuous, well, maybe it was... Well there will be plenty of nice attributes already in the bar, and as my father says: "why bring bananas to Jamaica?". Well, this time, we only brought one. The banana-cock.

Am de-railing now, cheerio and more to follow on this delicate matter.

TATAAAAAA

Crowding in Paradise

... a strange set-up is taking place tomorrow night. Temporary Flatty is setting up a date with me, herself, "our crowd" and this nice guy at the Paradise pub. The whole thing was very spontanious to start with and with the aim to "show the area" "where we in our gang always hang out" for this newly moved-to-the-area. The only thing is that we never go out there and the gang has been chased up now for this particular event. Hope now to God the GANG shows up.

The guy? Another strange thing, a very very cute fellow country man who seemed very interested in me at a party last week. Only problem was that I was about 4 inches taller than him, which made him .... very shy. Hence swopping numbers and setting up a date with slightly shorter Flatty instead. Makes sense? Not really. Anyroads, all answers will be given tomorrow night. In paradise. I will hide in the big gang and study him from afar.

And as Sweet Kitty says: "If you dear Sinispin is a price horse with your price horse-legs, then maybe he is a ....price pony!".

Hej hopp i glad galopp!

get shorty

ok, from now on I will be short and concise, quick and dirty, to the point, efficient.

looking forward to meeting the Norwegian guy. finance guy, career guy, simple to understand, cute, fresh and just a normal guy. A guy for me, a guy that would work out with my family and friends (ok, partly) a business guy basically. no surprises, just easy as a glass of milk.

finally true love, right?

my intuition is bad...

... very very bad. I thought I knew EXACTELY what the guy would be like; I knew what he would be wearing, what he would say, smell, feel, and what he would talk about. Question: What is the matter with a person who is always more nervous that the date will be terrible, instead of being paranoid that HE WONT LIKE ME? Is this a defence reaction or an unhealthily good self-confidence? Normal?

Anyroads, I enter the pub, and when I understand who he is, I am filled with a sort of surprised chock that almost makes me laugh. This guy does not look at all like his photo, and it takes me at least 15 minutes to shake off the picture I had i my mind and accept that this is the guy I am dating.

So instead of being small and skinny and latin, this guy is as tall as I am, broad-shouldered, with curly black shoulder length hair and a very secure look to his face. His parents are from Goa, hence a dark curry-boy, but his surname is latin because of the settlers in Goa that came from Portugal (you learn something every day...). So so so soooooooooo different. I really cannot say he is good-looking, his nose is identical to the one of the bird in the cartooned Disney version of Robin Hood and the hair roots are scaringly close to his eye-browns, plus a rather diffused face with no really clear lines. I felt like cut out of marble next to him...

But there was something very sexy about his secure and relaxed guy. He is a snowboarder, travel journalist with a big interest in all sorts of thing. Very sporty too which is a clear plus. Plays football and all sorts of things. Seems to come from a rather secure family with an older and a younger sister (warning signal: middle children have never been good with me...).

Plus a brain that is filled with interesting things, we talked and talked and talked. He has a crooked mind, you know, the kind that takes unexpected paths and association tracks. I love that with people. So talked about everything from the Swedish election to Homoerotica (which might not be that far-fetched, i guess..) to glide-flying in France to why Bolivia cannot export their gas-findings. He jokes about himself too. He has a master in archiving and library-stuff, which is absolutely necessary to be able to laugh about. (Again, my boring ex studied this of course too, but when he spoke about it, it was the most important thing on earth and, needless to mention, he arranged his CD's and books accordingly)

But he is ABSOLUTELY not the kind of guy I should be meeting, but that I always seem to end up with. I was going for a Alpha male with loads of dough and a straight career, not another artistic struggler. But hey, he is hardly a struggler, he has a fixed job since long at one of the best papers in the world and a flat in Islington. I revise.

But he is not handsome enough! Funny though, because through our discussions I didn't think of what he looked like at all. I actually forgot to think about it, I was so absorbed by his eyes and our discussions.

Actually, to be honest, I was was even surprised to realize that I, during the 3 hours that we talked non-stop, started drifting away wondering if those broad shoulders were holding up the strong chest and flat tummy that it looked like? In the middle of the gas-pipes through Chile I was thinking about if he would be more dominant or more submissive, what he would like... Crooked mind indeed...

When we walked back and were about to say good bye, I panicked by the thought that he would try and kiss me, I was very busy thinking back and forth about what strategy I would have to squirm away, without scaring him off. But then we he said good bye at his bus stop with only kissing me politely on the cheeks, I was disappointed! I could smell his very soft and discreet smell and then the picture of him and me rolling in the sheets appeared again. Thank god it was dark and I could just alight my black bike (that he jokingly called "the spinster bike", he doesn't realize how smart he is.... bah) and hide my blushing cheeks. What is wrong with me...!? Women are a mystery.

So, life is full of surprises, and he emailed me today to say he wanted to see me soon again. My alibi is that I am in Brussels. I haven't told him that I will be back tomorrow already. He thinks I will be away all week. Would perhaps be good to meet up with him again, first impression is one thing, the real judgement will come on date no 2.

But he is not at all my kind.

Nationalities

Ok, back again, very productive today.

Just came to think about nationalities when it comes to men. What are the possible nationalities I would like after all. In my experience (those nationalities that I have met closely, either as friends, collegues or ... dates/lovers):

Swedes: Too boring and too little gentlement, too equal
Danes: Smoke too much and have no style at all. Rascists too
Englishmen: Too darn polite and impossible to understand
French: Too cocky
Italian: Too passionate and unreliable
German: Not attactive
Irish: Too gregarious, too anti-England and too catholic
Australian: Too sports leisure wear
Belgian: Too nerdy
Norwegian: Too Broderna Brummendal

So, where does this leave me (nationalities yet to be discovered):
Finns: Quite positive about them, very macho and very cute, can be a bit too unsophisticated only
Dutch: Seems to be very much like Swedes
Spanish: Too Bamboleo
American: Too .... American
Canada: Too much like OZ
Latin American (all nations...): Very positive, modest and latin and BEAUTIFUL
New Zealander: Even more Sports Leisure wear than the Ozzies
East Europe: Too depressive
Middle East: Too arabic
Asia: Would love to date a Hong-Kong-guy or a Japanese , seem cool

No, I am not the least negative, prejudice NOR hard to please.
No at all.

What are Mars-men like? Some say they are all from Mars?!

Other peoples single-life

... is a much fun to follow as my own. I met this French guy a few weeks ago, young, good looking and very very flirty. Almost too flirty, I got a bit suspicious. And even though he claimed to be a top-model I wouldn't touch him, he smelt like he hadn't washed either himself or his clothes the past 2 months.

Anyroads, I "dumped" him after one coffee date, the unfreshness being too much to cope with. But we are still in contact on the MSN and he is telling me ALL about his very adventorous love-life. And clearly, that was the ONLY thing he wanted from me too. In combination with licking my feet and stroking my legs. Ehh.. another whacko. Of course. I said I already knew everything about love for Helmut Newton-girls and he was stunned "this is supposed to be men's secrets". Eeeh, why are you all so predictable then?

Last Monday he showed up and told me about his weekend. On the Sunday only he had dated three girls. Made out with one in the afternoon in a pub, had drink with a second a bit later, and the last one was all time high and they shagged all night. He was exhausted he said. Then he had to go, cause he was licking another girl's feet at lunchtime.

Great for him, but seriously, this being true or not, does he really think I would be interested in having his filthy body over me after knowing this? He says he has to "conquer me" too. Sorry, I am a neutral Swede my dear Napoleon..!

Men are a mysterium.

Au revoir!

NOOOOOOO

I dont want to do this, it will be a waste of time. I am so much not looking forward to this now. I just know that he will be a little skinny latin guy with much too much ill-cut hair and a checked red shirt from 1995 and horrible jeans that are too high in the waist. I wouldn't think a good looking journalist with a mix of latin/asian/english origin would need to internet date, would you?

but hey, now I am really undermining my own existance?!!! I am too a rather good looking, extrovert and fun girl with absolutely NOOOOO problem with meeting guys in bars and so. I am not even respecting myself if I say this. Revise:

He is probably a very good looking, cool, trendy, journalist at Guardian who is trying to explore new ways of meeting girls.

Hang on: Maybe I am a journalistic experiment??

BAAAAAAAAH, getting nervous.

Am I intuitive enough?

Ok, so no more sinistrous thoughts, let's be a bit... postive shall we. I need to put myself in a very postive mood because I am going to a date tonight with an INTERNET guy.

Have done this three times before, and I have never failed in my gut feeling about the guy

So, my gut feeling is: "we will not fall for eachother". Why? Well he is a bit of a difficult case, he is hard to judge. The picture shows a cute guy who looks quite interesting and his life and all seems good.

BUT he is

• A bit too keen
• A bit nerdy in his way of expressing
• Only 5.11 and SLIM (read: skinny, small)
• A bit too cultivated and "well-read"
• Probably a TV-nerd

So what I think I am meeting is a bit nerdy, left-wing, political, cultivated type who is proably rather fun and chatty.

He probably thinks he will meet a good looking Swede who is a bit modest and left-wing and interesting (only reason being that I haven't answered to his emails, hehehe).

But hey, I AM too nego now. At least I am learning something everytime.

There is another internet-guy that I like better though. A Norwegian bloke who seems cute and fun. He has done a few silly and slightly nerdy comments, but I can live with that.

I will see tomorrow what happened. I have had a pretty good gut feeling before, and been proven right. Is that only self-fulfilling profetias, or damn good intuition? We will have to wait and see.. No, wait! Now I remember, I wasn't that accurate before actually, hang on:

Date guy 1: Suburb-boy

My thoughts before:

Happy, go-lucky guy but too keen and I didn't like his voice. Would text me in the middle of the night when he was out, and this was BEFORE we met IRL. It was like he fell in love in me before we even met.

My thoughts after:

Disastrous date. He was nervous, his mother called during the date (true!), he seemes very uncomfortable and I think he got a bit disappointed in me. Don't know really. Very strange date.

Date 2: Designer-boy

My thoughts before:

Fun, cute, a bit crazy struggling artist. I had rather good feeling for him. Nice chats and fun on the phone. Different.

My thoughts after:

Was looking for a very particular kind of girl, and I certainly didnt fit the picture. He was anyway not my kind either, too trendy, was talking about the manager of Artic Monkeys all night and texting him. Felt a bit childish, and generally nothing for me. But rather cute, so yes, I was a little disappointed.

Date 3: Marketing-boy

My thoughts before:

I knew I wouldn't be attracted, isn't that horrible?? I am a useless dater, too narrow minded. Or maybe I am too good, maybe I am very sure of what I like? He is extremely nice, but I just knew from the picture he would not be my kind...!

My thoughts after:

This guy was indeed a really good guy, we had a fun date, he is attractive and fun. But I wasn't attracted, if you know what I mean. It was something about him I didnt like. He also looked a lot at another girl in the restaurant where we were. He felt a bit nervous and strange. But it was fun and we exchanged a few texts and emails afterwards. We should maybe try and meet up again, could be worth it. I was just starting my new job and maybe not that relaxed.

Date 4: The newly divorced-boy

This is not an internet date, but a blind-date, set up by people I know. I don't know them that well though, so hence a little bit of a mismatch...

My thoughts before:

Very close to separation, and divorce. A bit too old (42 years), with son of 5. Too much luggage? But very nice and the match-makers are good people, so why not try? Rather fun on the text-messages, but some of them were very strange too.

My thoughts after:

He is indeed a very nice guy, but yest, too close to separation, we talked about the divorce and his son for 4 hours. Which was ok, because he was nice, but no attraction whatsoever from my side. Even if he is rather youthful and boyish, still a bit too old for me. We might meet again, but there is definitely no rushing here...

So we'll see what's gonna happen tonight!

Cherio!

U