my intuition is bad...

... very very bad. I thought I knew EXACTELY what the guy would be like; I knew what he would be wearing, what he would say, smell, feel, and what he would talk about. Question: What is the matter with a person who is always more nervous that the date will be terrible, instead of being paranoid that HE WONT LIKE ME? Is this a defence reaction or an unhealthily good self-confidence? Normal?

Anyroads, I enter the pub, and when I understand who he is, I am filled with a sort of surprised chock that almost makes me laugh. This guy does not look at all like his photo, and it takes me at least 15 minutes to shake off the picture I had i my mind and accept that this is the guy I am dating.

So instead of being small and skinny and latin, this guy is as tall as I am, broad-shouldered, with curly black shoulder length hair and a very secure look to his face. His parents are from Goa, hence a dark curry-boy, but his surname is latin because of the settlers in Goa that came from Portugal (you learn something every day...). So so so soooooooooo different. I really cannot say he is good-looking, his nose is identical to the one of the bird in the cartooned Disney version of Robin Hood and the hair roots are scaringly close to his eye-browns, plus a rather diffused face with no really clear lines. I felt like cut out of marble next to him...

But there was something very sexy about his secure and relaxed guy. He is a snowboarder, travel journalist with a big interest in all sorts of thing. Very sporty too which is a clear plus. Plays football and all sorts of things. Seems to come from a rather secure family with an older and a younger sister (warning signal: middle children have never been good with me...).

Plus a brain that is filled with interesting things, we talked and talked and talked. He has a crooked mind, you know, the kind that takes unexpected paths and association tracks. I love that with people. So talked about everything from the Swedish election to Homoerotica (which might not be that far-fetched, i guess..) to glide-flying in France to why Bolivia cannot export their gas-findings. He jokes about himself too. He has a master in archiving and library-stuff, which is absolutely necessary to be able to laugh about. (Again, my boring ex studied this of course too, but when he spoke about it, it was the most important thing on earth and, needless to mention, he arranged his CD's and books accordingly)

But he is ABSOLUTELY not the kind of guy I should be meeting, but that I always seem to end up with. I was going for a Alpha male with loads of dough and a straight career, not another artistic struggler. But hey, he is hardly a struggler, he has a fixed job since long at one of the best papers in the world and a flat in Islington. I revise.

But he is not handsome enough! Funny though, because through our discussions I didn't think of what he looked like at all. I actually forgot to think about it, I was so absorbed by his eyes and our discussions.

Actually, to be honest, I was was even surprised to realize that I, during the 3 hours that we talked non-stop, started drifting away wondering if those broad shoulders were holding up the strong chest and flat tummy that it looked like? In the middle of the gas-pipes through Chile I was thinking about if he would be more dominant or more submissive, what he would like... Crooked mind indeed...

When we walked back and were about to say good bye, I panicked by the thought that he would try and kiss me, I was very busy thinking back and forth about what strategy I would have to squirm away, without scaring him off. But then we he said good bye at his bus stop with only kissing me politely on the cheeks, I was disappointed! I could smell his very soft and discreet smell and then the picture of him and me rolling in the sheets appeared again. Thank god it was dark and I could just alight my black bike (that he jokingly called "the spinster bike", he doesn't realize how smart he is.... bah) and hide my blushing cheeks. What is wrong with me...!? Women are a mystery.

So, life is full of surprises, and he emailed me today to say he wanted to see me soon again. My alibi is that I am in Brussels. I haven't told him that I will be back tomorrow already. He thinks I will be away all week. Would perhaps be good to meet up with him again, first impression is one thing, the real judgement will come on date no 2.

But he is not at all my kind.