Ooops! I did it again. Or Find 5 Faults -- round 2.

OOOps! I did it again…

… met a guy when on vacation, from another town, another world. And frankly, my experiences from this are not the best in whole wide world. It’s extremely difficult to get to know someone when it’s not possible to meet up like on Tuesday nights or when you have the same sort of reference framework for things. What do I know about a guy from Paris? How can I understand the brain of someone who was brought up in France? Ok, I have spend pas mal of time in la douce France, and also a lot with French people, but still?

The only way to find out, is to try, right? Try and not have too high expectations. I have been through this “distance-start-ups” at least two times before: once with an Irish guy living in Sweden and another time with a Danish guy that I met skiing in der Alps.

The Dane was a disaster that I should have seen to start with. OK!! Easy to say in retrospect, but still. We met, under high levels of intoxication an evening at the After Ski. He was extremely “on” and we did some brief kissing. I went home already at around nine. Very tired. He was leaving the day after, so didn’t see him anymore. But then the texting and calling and emailing and MSN-ing began. Oh my god, I really should have seen it coming. He had fallen for me like a card house in the Alp winds. It was BIG love and I would be his “kaeresta” (girlfriend in Danish). I was of course very flattered and though, yeah, maybe I got at bit “taken with storm”. He sent these really cute pictures of him too. But I had a feeling that something wasn’t right. But the extreme optimist and opportunist that I am, I became very enthusiastic. Went to see him in Copenhagen and we had a really nice weekend, I must admit that. BUT, there were things that I felt a bit..apprehensive about. Small things, like the area where he lived, the kind of job and car he had. The Find Five Faults-game was rolling in my heads (see earlier post). But, I was telling myself that I was being too critic and I needed to be more open and not so typically “single and scared”. Second time we met was in Stockholm, where I still had my flat at that time. Again, we had a really nice weekend and he met a few friends who were … positive, but maybe not.. thrilled. I started to feel more and more doubtful. Something just wasn’t right. He felt insecure, not too smart, a bit of a “scratcher” (no ambition, slacker) plus our bed-activities weren’t super either. Third time we met (this is all happening within a month’s time, so it was anyway efficient), he came to London. And the minute I saw him at Heathrow, I felt a strong NO! So that was the end of it. But as least I gave it a try. But I wished I could have seen it earlier, so I wouldn’t have had to spend all this time on him.

The Irish guy was a different story. We met through work and this time it was my turn to fall like a card-house in Nordic ice-winds. The Find Five Faults game was also a bit inverted. I adored him even though he came from a very rough Irish background with a father that had beaten him and his 10 younger siblings, had alcohol problems, had 2 kids with 2 mothers in 2 different countries (not even Ireland and Sweden) and had escaped to Northern Sweden to get away from it all. In addition to this he looked like 45 at the age of 34, dressed like an old man and HATED London and was of the opinion that all Irish living in England were traitors. The alarm bells should have been deafening rather quickly for any sane person. But not for the Spinster. Carried away and blinded by this big, warm, musical, ambitious and sweet guy that was introducing me for all friends in his Irish home county Wicklow. I was hoping for a good couple of months that we would work out. WAKE UP! What’s even better with this story was that HE left ME in the end. This is really comedy. I found out that he cheated on me with a north Swedish singer-songwriter that he was playing guitar with. Well done Spinster. It’s your punishment for being too bloody blue-eyed.

But as I AM very optimistic, I see the bright side of this. I’ve learned a lot from it.

So, now that I’ve met this French guy when in Paris, that SEEMS to be a very nice fellow, I need to keep my head cool. We are in a lot of contact and so far, I have not found a lot of faults with him yet. I just hope that we will meet soon so we can clear out if this is something to build on or if we should just scrap it straight away. But just for the fun of it I can highlight some areas that I feel I need to dig a bit further, to find out more information..:

1. He has a bit of a messy background family wise… His father is German/French and mother French/Gabon. What does this say us? Well, he is not Muslim anyway, Gabons are Christian (yes, I now know ALL about Gabon if anyone needs any info...). I am NOT racist but I can see complications with muslims. The messy part of this is not the number of nationalities (which is rather common in “continental Europe,”), but that the contact with the parents seem low and he has not spoken at all about his mother. But, as someone said, this doesn’t mean that the guy himself is disturbed. But still.
2. His brother has mental problems. Ok, this means nothing either. But still.
3. When I met him at the club he kept disappearing all the time. Temporary Flatty Chablis made a quick analysis that he ran away to take coke. Which I cannot stand. But we don’t know this and Chablis wasn’t even there, so how would we know? But still.
4. His work. What on earth is it that he is doing? He is some sort of engineer (telecome-ish) and works in support for big switchboards etc. To be honest, doesn’t seem to be the most ambitious and exciting work on earth?! But what the hell do I know? But still.