Circus Weekend

Weekend crazy. Was supposed to spend it with nice old friends in Stockholm in peace and harmony. Of course the completely crazy Mr Cosby decided to ruin this completely. He turns up in Stockholm and is being just mad, freestyling around pretending to have a ball with "loads of friends". People that I don´t even think exist, and it´s just another of the rounds of lies he is throwing around. First I was being kind and nice to him, but Saturday when he leaves 10 messages declaring that I should "give him 200 pounds to pay him out of his hotel", I just lost all kindness. In a long very straightforward telephone call, I told him "it´s not my problem, sort it out yourself". Which hopefully is the last thing I ever said to him.

Woke up in an insanely bad mood on the Sunday morning getting ready to go back to Sweden. Had hardly been able to sleep since I was fearing that Mr Cosby would stalk me to my friends´flat and be hiding in the wardrobe. Imagine my surprise when all of a sudden Mr Kangaroo texts me to say he is back in London! Best possible thing to cheer me up. So in the evening, we end up having take-aways in my, almost, refurbished flat sharing a bottle of lovely red wine. I was nervous like hell! Why? Not sure, just cannot really relax! He is just too wonderful and I am just too amazed with him and too worried that I will make something bad.

The poor Kangaroo had hardly slept at all on his way back from Australia, and was very tired. So when we had snogged and had a lovely time on the sofa and it was late and he was almost falling asleep, I asked him if we wanted to sleep over! Bah! Where on earth did that come from? Why can´t I think a bit before I speak for once? Bah again! And after slight hesitating (which made my heart almost bounce out of my chest) he said he would love to. We really only slept though. No rush here please. And I had moments during the night waking up sweating with anxiety that he regretted staying and that he would think I was too pushy. But in the morning he was just lovely again and it all washed away.

And here I am now, flying around trying to get down to earth again. We have no idea where this is going. And it´s lovely and painful on the same time.