Chemical Romance?

What really creates love, romance and strong feelings? Is it when two people cut out of stone, perfectly carved out for eachother, meet? Is it some divine force that makes these two creatures pass eachothers ways and smile and touch and the radiant power strikes them? Or is it rather an open mindset, a mind freed from troublesome pasts and sceletons that can actually appreciate and see love when it stands on their doorstep?

These thoughts are troubling me. Research project has come to a little halt after just a couple of weeks implementation. The bright side is that I actually meet men who are "good men" and who tick the list to great extents rather than being strange struggling artists. But where is the spark? Nothing happens in me,, I just cannot get my energy going. Not sober anyways... And what this creates is just lack of interest from the men themselves, and then they stop contacting me and then I get sad and think I have done something wrong. Probably men are not stupid and they see that there are things on my mind. But why can they not hold on and have some patience? Love doesn´t happen in one instance. I am probabaly stuck in old routines (ex-husband, Kangaroo etc) and compare too much and I need some time to adapt. Perhaps I don´t see the forest for all the trees?

I think I need to do some mental work with myself. Í would need a cleaning process in my head that just removes old grey dirt and lets in new fresh thoughts. I fear that there are mindsets in my confused brain that needs to get sorted or I will stay Spinster for the rest of my life.

Or.. have I just not yet met my carved-out marble man?