Project Status...!

Weekend passed in a very soft and inward way. Spent it with sister at SPA in the country-side. Very relaxed and healthy and sleeping and exercising and getting fresh air and yadayadayadaaaaaaa. Made me feel immediatly that something is wrong with my life, that I should be living a healthy life in a suburb of Stockholm and have children. Just like my sis.

And in some way I think I would like to, but when I think of it realistically,,, no, it´s so not me. Not now, maybe in a few years. And yes, I think of if as a possible way of life a lot more now than what I did just a few years ago. So who knows? I must say I look 5 year younger today than what I did on Saturday morning! I think a mix of my current life and my sister´s life is more suitable. I don´t have to stop going to concerts or going out to see friends just because I will have a family. It doesn´t have to be so black and white.

Well, in all honesty, this -- my beautifuls -- is nothing I need worry about now. Heheh, I am a bit funny sometimes, as if I had the option of living her life? Well I was hysterically close to it once and all it left me with was strong anxiety, panic and a well-established commitment phobia. But now, my project of finding Future Husband is very inactive. Needless to say, this weekend did nothing to improve the odds either (unless I want to date middle-age men or women). But that´s all good. I feel very inward right now. Q3 is over and Q4 will be about me, and what I feel good about, my family and friends. Nothing else. Hallelujah.

(well, we´ll see how long this lasts...)