Strong Weakness

Kitlizette wrote a very intersting thing in her latest posting, about how you sooo need to be just little and vulnerable and weak and dependant sometimes. But it's rather difficult to be so when you are all alone all the time? What can you do? Lean on friends to let them organize your life? Not really likely. It's like The Honorary Swede once said when we were discussing the matter, and one of our friends, also single, perhaps relies a bit on her female friends to sort things out.

- "Well, you're not her boyfriend! She has to sort this herself!"

I sometimes feel that I spend so much time with female friends that I almost get a bit masculine sometimes. Because when I do hang out with my male friends I feel that I become a lot more feminine. And it's interesting this thing. A friend once told me that one of our colleagues found me "a bit intimidating". It annoyed me in a way actually. Of course I will be more dominant and strong in my work environment, but that's it not really how I am. Not always.

Is this what is called the single trap? When you are single for so long that you start to be too independent and "strong" that it becomes unattractive. I believe men and women were created to be together, and being together creates a healthy balance. A yin and yan.

Not really sure what I can do about it though. I think leaning on my male friends a bit more maybe and actually ask for help sometimes. Because also I love feeling taken cared of. It's lovely. But a bit against my nature though, I grew up in a culture where women are encouraged to be self-dependant and go their own way. And men in my home country do find this attractive, I know this for a fact. Because they were brought up with those kinds of women. Perhaps those who have left Sweden did so because they wanted to meet more dependent women, who make them feel more masculine? And maybe the most masculine man is in fact the one that can handle strong women -- he will never feel challenged because he is solid.

Many thoughts. I would just like to find a strong man who I can look up to (not necessarily physically, I find shorter men sexy), but that I admire mentally and I feel can be a skipper on my life journey.

A hard man is good to find. As someone said.