http://www.meandthehiddenagenda.blogspot.com/
Here it is! Read and enjoy. "Me and the Hidden Agenda" is about my snooping around for stories and funnities in the different countries, cultures and situations that i happen to end up in. Happen to end up in? I think i deliberately choose them only to get good stories. The Hidden Agenda of my life.
Happy reading.
ME
Changes changes, again changes. It pains me to say that the Sinister Spinster will now go to sleep. She has done her contributions to the world and will now sleep.
The creator however will continue her thoughts of life and everything around this in a new blog. The name and content of this will soon be announced here.
It has been lovely to have The Sinister Spinster in my life and she has taught me a lot about life. My warm thanks for those of you who have followed her sometimes sinistrous views on life. Knowing that you are out there reading, nutures my inspiration.
Peace and Love
Me
For those of you poor little creatures who don't master the beautiful language of German, this means "Finally a reason to panik". One of the biggest hits in der Bundesrepublik last year. I knew about it, I must admit, before I got indoctrinated in the German kultur-leben. To take part of this master-piece of music, click on the following link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjiC6xM5nAM
So what is now the reason to panik that has finally come my way? Well I have said for a while that I am ready for a change in my life. In fact I am looking forward to my fourth spring in Notting Hill, still single, still wondering. Ok, things have changed during the passing of these springs, I have changed jobs (a couple of times in fact...), I have moved to my own flat that I have renovated myself. In addition, I have lived through and ended a sort-of-long-term relationship (1,5 years), started a couple of more serious affairs (that were doomed from the beginning) and done a quite a lot of dating and other activities less suitable for print. And I have learned a lot. Huge amounts of things. About myself, about what is good, and what is not so good. And I am glad I have had this time to learn, even if at times painful.
So this is the fourth spring. And I am ready for a change. The feeling emerged last summer, from somewhere, unclear where. I suppose it's part of my nomadic personality, always wanting to move. But I guess it's not necessarily a physical move I am feeling, rather a mind-move. I feel that I am ready with this part of my life. Not sure how to describe the phase, but it has been rather much a matter of thinking and learning and developing. Development phase. Here we have it. Now we're really getting into good ol' consulting lingo.
And the reason to Panic? Well, as our dear TS Eliot puts it:
April is the cruellest month,
breeding,
Lilacs out of the dead land,
mixing memory and desire,
stirring dull roots with spring rain...
Change is painful, and perhaps a reason to panic? Now, I happen to have an extensive experience of panic, so this is hardly anything close to that. Just going through the phases.
Went to see Mr Germany last weekend. And it was wonderful. Skiing, Spa-hotel, Munchen, Cat Power. A lot of feelings and the feeling of kindness that occurs when you just ... like someone. When there is mutual respect and admire. Friendship and Attraction. There is no games, no playing, just lovely. All we know is that it was lovely and that we want more of it. And who knows, he might be part of the change? But we only know one thing and that is that we don't know anything.
And as the song goes further... Kein Grund Zur Panik. And all true, there is No reason to Panic.
Shit in das pommes frites, as we say, I am half way into the first month of this glorious new year, and haven't written a single word! Well, my trip to down under has taken a lot of my energy, time and mindspace, so no space in the brain for any writing here.
I just read my last posting before my trip, and it does seems like 100 years ago! So many things have happened, so many thoughts have passed my brain and I feel so much more developed! That's clearly the best effect of travelling for me. Mind travelling. I love it. Not sure if I should bore my dear readers with too much with the result of this, but let's say I have concluded some large questions about myself during the trip. Firstly that I need to live closer to nature or at least build in nature in my life in a more convenient way. Secondly that I need to focus more on my inner self and be less "up in the air" and more inward and "together". The third big thing is that I need to get over my ever so lingering wonderings about my divorce and why it happened and if I really did the right thing or not. Extremely tedious, can I please just DROP IT!!
The bizarre thing in this is that this is very much what my lovely travel partner Ms Prada and I were discussing a lot during the trip. Towards the end of our trip, we went for psychic readings in Byron Bay (hippie mecka South of Brisbane), and scaringly, she saw these things very clearly in me, plus a lot of other very interesting things that are not suitable for publishing...
So, this was not really what I was expecting from this new year. I probably thought the trip to Aus would be a more party-oriented hallaballoo fiesta, but it got a bit more ... profound than that!
But despair not dear readers, I wasn't only this serious and mature. I did manage to mess things up a bit with a new flame. A German new flame. Bumped into him in a bar in Sydney and I got my passionate self back for a while. Love at first sight for moi and it ended up in a three day (and night, hehe) "affair". Oh so romantic. A slight bit problematic though since his English is rather schlecht and my German is... limited. But ze language of love doesn't need words.... Ok, now seriously, I like him. He is absolutely lovely and kind and sweet and dresses superbly and has a great job and a great life and would be very perfect had the logistics been a bit more shall we say, favourable. Well well, he seems to be equally romantic so we've been in quite a lot of contact and who knows, we might meet again!
Worth mentioning is also that lovely Ms Prada and myself didn't manage to pay ourselves out from the hotel due to "fraud protection services" for our credit cards (read: too much shopping). In the despair and rush for us to catch the domestic flight to Byron Bay, the only thing we could do was to call.. yep,,, mr Germany. And being loyal, kind and caring, he was in the reception 10 minutes later and got the Nordics out of their little slightly embarrassing despair... The lady in the reception desk sensed that we did not exactly "go way back" and couldn't hide her amusement of the situation. In between her not-so-discreet-giggles she said to Mr Germany: I hope you know this girl...
I am trying my best to pay him back, but he still hasn't sent me any details of his bank account. Not sure how to interpret this. Ms Prada says she thinks it was rather a bargin for three nights with the Sinister Spinster! She is terrible the little Missy. But grateful for my achievements though.
So here we are, some clarification and some new confusions. Nothing changes but everything is new.
Happy New Year!
