F**k it switch?

The me is back.

Two years have passed since the last words were written here. I contemplated turning the blog off, but no, and thank god for that as I am back again.

Anyroads. What has happened in the two years and three months? Three relationships have happened. One long-distance with the German man. Feels like in another time and age. and I struggle to remember exactly why I went out with him. Then a two-month-stint with a rather weird man. Which was just .. weird. Then just about a year ago I met a lovely guy. Very lovely indeed. But it didn't work out either. But that's all I am going to tell you about that. None of them were right, nothing to dwell about. These things you just know.

No, I am instead looking forward. With excitement. Because I am today very much the person I have always wanted to be. I like my life and myself very much. And I am not sure I did so 2 years ago. Not at all actually. Can't really pinpoint what is different. Just a feeling of security, stability and happiness I guess.

When I read Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Love Pray, I came to think of this a lot. The main character meets a man in India who tells her something along the lines of "it's impossible to find love until you would like to meet yourself". And I would like to date myself actually. I think the me is pretty cool.

I have very little to worry about for the moment. Very little indeed. No annoying relationship that is not super good but not bad enough to end. No worries about does he love me or not, do I love him or not, nothing about when are we going to have children etc etc. With me, myself, and I, there is very litttle to lay awake about at night. Which is fabulastic.

The only possible dark spot on the sun would be this freaking biological clock that everyone is roaming about. I am after all 2 years and three months older than before. And this, according to papers, have probably seriously deteriorated my eggs.

But as there is f**k all to do about it, I do as my great friend Miss Polo says -- I turn on the F**k it switch. Because there is nothing else to do.

Happy Wednesday.

xxx