The SINISTER spinster is back

ok, enough with sloppy love searches and relationship confusion: time to get back to the sinistrous side of me.

been spending the week in Stockholm again, and somehow, irritations emerge ;-). but seriously, what can you say about a town that is UNHEALTHILY self-loving?? it's sometimes like Stockholm is constantly masturbating or having some sort of ego-centric self-mirroring. or what can you say about at town that has the following anal expressions for ego:

# Step1 - Arlanda: GIGANTIC pictures of half known or non-known "stockholmare" welcoming you to "their hometown". how cute.
# Step 2 - Arlanda Express (train to town): 1) Magazine with front page "Why I love Stockholm": tellings of another half-celebrity, 2) the voice telling us that the train is getting into the station from another bunch of Stockholm-lovers welcoming to town..
# Step 3 - Shopping in Central town: At least 3 clothes brands have some sort of reference to Stockholm in names as ... of Stockholm, or in the modern way: STHLM
# Step 4 - Restaurant visits: Same system as the clothes brand

... and to be honest, having now spent 4 days in this grey, cold, rainy and very empty and silent town, I must say that this LOOOOVE for the capital probably takes place only for tops 2 months per year, i.e. the summer, and maybe also some weeks in March when it's still snow, but not too desperately dark as the rest of the winter.

and the worst thing is that Stockholm claims to be "The Capital of Scandinavia": Are the neighbours agreed on this???

bah

Results from new approach: "Back to my good old self Ms Straightforward"

Funny this, how we fiddle and twist and trix, and take instructions from silly books (How to Capture the Heart of Mr Right by changing personality and being difficult), for what reason? When being ourselves always gives the best results? I got a bit tired of Superman France constant "I want to see you" "I miss you" and other cute emails plus telephone calls and yada yada, without any signs of planning to meet up. So, I took the bull by its ears and asked him: "Would you like to come to London this weekend?". As clear as it gets! So I get this very cute answer that is also very straightforward explaning that he feels swamped and unsettled and needs to focus on getting a flat and other stuff. But that he really likes me and wants to see me. And he ended the email with "I like you being straightforward!". And it feels good! My gut feeling is positive. I feel that the air has been cleared, no need to analyse or twist around. This might just mean that we will drift and never meet up again. But time will tell.

Another funny thing is that I got a very unexpected answer from the Irish guy in Northern Sweden who dumped me in March, but still contacts me. Yes, the guy that I wrote a very agressive email to last week ending with "So, why do you still contact me??". Got an answer today from him "Because I like you silly!!".

Sinister Spinster vs Men-world: 2-0. He he.



PS. There will soon be a book-fire. I have a couple of mind-twisting and depressive books to get rid of! ASAP

A word of warning

Dear lovely independent, non-clingy, high-integrity, rules-focused, clear-sighted friends. In wrestling there is a great term for one of the techincal tools of the game: "falla pa eget grepp", might be translated to "fall on your own hold", .e. one of wrestlers tries to make the other fall, but falls instead himself.

This is what can easily happen if we make this bloody dating process too difficult. In my eager to "do right" to be independent, non-clingy, high-integrity, rules-focused, clear-sighted, I have probably complicated things. In hindsight ("which is always the only possible sight", hate this saying), he has given me so many hooks and hints that he wants to see me and meet with me. But because I have been too afraid to do wrong according to all darn rules, I have not taken these. And not dared just saying the extremely easy thing "why don't you haul your ass over this weekend?!" (probably in a bit more sexy way, but still).

So, my word of warning: don't be too difficult, just be yourself and relaxed. Don't make things too difficult and fall on your own hold.

Cleaning out my closet?

A friend once told me: "You have to clean out your love closet every now and then. You know, all old junk that is laying around there that you never really use, but still sort of keep in a way. They have to be cleaned out, and thrown away. Properly, otherwise they will still linger on in a way".

She would be happy to hear that I have not only cleaned out 1) the Irish guy for once and for all (see below posting "So, why do you contact me?"), but also 2) our dear "husband-to-be", you know the flirto who never can commit to his wedding but keep postponing? All while flirting with others and while his girle keeps curling him and blogging about this (see postings about "intruders")? He appeared today on the MSN, I have tried to ignore him for a while. And he was going on about him coming to London and bla bla bla bla. I was extremely short back. I think he got the message.

Few things are so good as cleaning out. Out and away with JUNK!!

Sign language input

Mr Model answers:

"just show him that you like him as a person, that you are waiting for him to surprise you, things like that."

Uff, this is difficult. I just had a looooooooooong chat with Superman France and it was really good, we laughed so much and talked about most things. But no sign of any arrangements to meet up or anything. This is getting on my nervs, so I will now STOP thinking of it. I will make sure I am busy doing one million other things and not spending time on wondering about why he doesn't HAUL HIS ASS OVER.

Dearest Chablis always asks me: "What do you feel in our stomach?". So I will investigate my gut feeling..hang on. Ok, I have felt now. I think, to be honest, that he is very interested and that he really wants to talk to me and be close to me. But he is a bit in a bad timing in his life: he doesn't know what he wants to do, where to live etc, which makes it difficult to have a proper relationship. Or something like that.

Need to go now, will figure out how to make him surprise me ;-)

So, why do you contact me?

I have been punished. Punished for being curious. Like curious George. Do you remember him? Nyfikne Nicke in svenski? That's me. Bad monkey-girl am I. My deed? Answering to an email from an ex. Note to self: Never EVER keep contacts with ex's. Never.

Jan-March this year I was seeing a bloke, no need to go into details, but he is the confused Sweden-living Irish one with the 2 sons with 2 mothers in 2 countries that I written about before. Yep, the very one who dumped me after 2,5 romantic months with introducing me to half of Ireland and wanting to live with me in Antarctica if necessary. Dumped me for North Sweden's Indie-queen. Great. I've never loved Disco Disco and Schlager so much as since then.

He emailed me a couple of days ago. To see how I was doing sort of. I decided to not answer, just bothered by seeing his ugly name in my email-list. But today I was bored and little Curious George came out and I just had to answer back, to see how he was doing. 2 minutes later I got a looong email telling me how bloody happy he is and how well everything goes for him. And even sending a link to his VERY PERSONAL website where I could read ALL about his up-taking music-career, his blooming job, his new lake-side house, his sons and get hints of his love life in the little guest book. Plus of course pictures of this guy that I actually fell rather hard for... Even in swim wear (which is NOT a pretty sight thank god.. hehhe)

So, I just answered "so, why do you contact me?". A bit happy for my "ta ingen skit"-approach, but still angry for falling into his ugly trap. No answer, needless to say.

Bah again.

Sign language?

In order to ensure quality on advice, I decided to ask my French friend Mr Young-But-Smelly-Model about my actions with Superman France. We email every now and then and he is rather updated on the situation. So I asked what he thought, should I act or be still? Should I propose that he'd come here this weekend, or should I wait and see? His answer was:

yes, let him come...
just give some signs...
dont do anything.

Signs? HEEELOOOOOOOOO. Pls Mr Model be a LITTLE bit more specific? How much can someone give signs without saying things straight out? Smoke signals? Sending pictures of me in bed? Send a map of how to get from the Eurostar to my house? I think I am a bit too straightforward for this. A bit of a strong Viking woman who just take things her way. But I will be subtle and wishywashy and signy, like a little cat.. Oh yes.

Bah

Chess?

This is what it is; a chess game! One step forward, two steps back, what was this song again? Long time ago, in the 80-ties.. Anyway. Superman France is flawless, he is wonderful. He calls everyday, he emails loads everyday, he is cute and sweet and intimate and says very lovely things. But still, I think nothing happens? Ok, I really would like to see him soon again, maybe already this weekend. I think we should, to not loose momentum. But I don't dare saying this to him. So maybe it's my own fault? Pb is, I cannot go to Paris and stay with him, because he is temporarily renting a room at a female friend that used to be his girlfriend 6 years ago. While looking for a flat to buy. Ok, fair enough, not totally kosher if I would have a gorilla-sex weekend there. Point taken. So he cannot invite me yet. But I don't want to be too pushy and invite him here. Hence, nothing happens. Starting to become very frustrating.

On verra.

AU PAIR AGAIN??

Am working from Sweden this week. Have installed myself in my sister's house in the suburb with 7-years-old twins. Unfortunaly, I don't have that many meetings, so am mostly working from home. And it's a really really good insight in family life:

• Kids in the bed every morning
• Constant fight to get the obnoxious boy to brush his teeth
• Constant fight with the fairy-looking girl to have her brush her hair
• Constant hide-and-seek game with lost items such as wellies, torches and bicycles
• Force-feeding of aunties Spagetti Bolognese to very dissatisfied children since "it doesn't taste like mummy's!!"
• Force-carrying of children into the car to go to the scouts when they want to watch Bollibompa
• Force-carrying of children into the car to go FROM the scouts because it's so much more fun to play with wooden sticks and pines instead of eating auntie's dinner
• Discussing with big boss in Brussels about new super-global-agreement with giant customer while tearing two furious beasts apart and away from covering eachother in finger-paint, and on the same time sounding calm and interested and not at all pre-occupied...
• Getting giant muscles from carrying one kid from the TV-set into the bedroom while the other one is piggy-backing me
• ... and getting tears in my eyes when I come to school and see two white-haired laughing angels leaving all they have at hand just to race up to me and give me the biggest hug on earth.

This must be what life is about? And they are not even my own kids?! I think I would love this life, it's so much fun and rewarding.

Very inspired! Need some detailes fixed only -- takers??

First results from "Keeping cool-session"

I must say, the result was a lot better than expected! After a lot o keeping away, answering briefly to emails and texts, he, Superman France, suddently asked if he could come to visit me over the weekend! So he did, he was in the light of Londonia the whole of last weekend.

And I must say, the keeping it short and difficult continued all weekend. Not that I deliberately planned to do it, but being absolutely run down from work, having a big cold coming up AND the monthly joys of being a woman, I wasn't really that ON all the time. So all good I believe... On verra as they say. We had a great weekend, in spite of all physical mis-planned details. Funny, isn't it sometimes? It's like the body takes control of the "keeping-cool-session" itself! Very weird indeed.

And I am still working on keeping him short.. hey, this is a lot of work, just keeping away from the phone and emails!! But I believe it works rather well. He phoned last night and was sweet as honey.

To be continued...